Amidst the sea of witty clothing lines stating “fries before guys” and “Nama’stay in bed,” one stood out to me in particular: “MIND YOUR OWN UTERUS.”
The mild feminist in me rose up with a strong arm screaming, “Yeah!”
As women we all know that our uterus runs our lives. We try to win the power struggle with birth controls, pain killers, and sheer willpower; but what I oftentimes realize is my uterus knows a lot more about me then my brain does, it just has a funny way of telling me.
At the start of my first real relationship I was 19. I was also loosely diagnosed with Endometriosis shortly therein after. Endometriosis is a disorder where the tissue that lines the uterus grows outside the uterus – it can cause cysts and is extremely painful.
One fine Orange County morning, my Ex and I were running a new jogging path when suddenly I found myself on the ground in agonizing pain gasping for breath. It was as if two large hands had pierced through my abdomen and began ripping my uterus in half. Something in the Universe was not “minding its own uterus.”
In hindsight, I think what bothered me the most about having Endometriosis was not the constant struggle to find a birth control that was right for me, or having to miss a week of life each month because my body wouldn’t get off the bathroom floor, or being on prescription pain pills. It was the constant comments from those — especially the boyfriend — around me saying, “At least when you’re pregnant you will feel better!”
As if being pregnant was a goal of my entire life.
The progression of life and relationship rolled on. Talk of marriage, talk of which boob job my “future husband” wished to buy me so I looked good on my wedding day, mixed in with questions of my character, hair color, friends, family…and blah, blah, blah.
Our Christmas together came and went. Everything appeared perfect from our families meeting each other to our beautifully designed Christmas cards; before I knew it I was 20 and he was graduating college and I stood beside him proud and supportive of this new chapter of life.
A year and a half later, I was in Pasadena on a hiking tail with my love and his friends. I had climbed up this little boulder next to the trial and looked down at them. It was as if I had summited my life. Clarity washed over me and sheer panic sunk in. What do you do when you’ve ordered your wedding dress and engagement ring and you realize he’s the worst person in the world for you?
I hit him.
I ran up behind him and I smacked his rear as if he were an unruly child. His face was red and mine was shocked.
Later that day I made the decision to walk upstairs and give him the ultimatum that separated our lives. The very next month my Endometriosis had miraculously gone away to never return.
When women discuss their female troubles I have learned to ask them gently about their stress, relationships, and perspective of themselves. Because you never know what your brain is ignoring that your uterus cannot.
Featured photo by Hey Paul Studios via Flicker (added text)