Come November the holiday feels come flooding in. Invites to various gatherings and parties appear with nearly every person you run into. This year, however, I decided to be the Krank of the family for Thanksgiving and spend the holiday alone.
Being new to the “adulting” world, there are a ton of things on my mind everyday. Work, money, relationships (or a lack thereof) — the list could go on and on. Of the many things that go darting through my mind, growing up and into the woman I want to be is high on that list. That is why, I decided to spend my first holiday ever on my own, alone.
I had mixed feelings for some time before I came to my conclusion of spending the feasting day solo. A good daughter would have gone home, a good friend would have accepted the invitation, and a loner would have given in for one day. As my roommates were making plans to head home or away, I was planning what I would do with my three days to myself.
I debated cooking a grand feast, I debated walking along the pier downtown, and twiddled my thumbs over going to turkey boot camp at my gym. Of all the ideas that ran across my mind, the most important was allowing myself time to breathe.
Wine? Sure. Baking? Why the heck not! Thanksgiving this year was a holiday celebrated by celebrating myself. As I walked through the QFC aisles, I listened to a husband and wife barter over wine, fast feet shuffle in and out of the store, and crying children. Maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing to spend this day alone.
I picked up my Cabernet Sauvignon along with semi sweet morsels and made my way home. I had zero idea of what I was going to bake, I just knew I had lots of supplies in the house and something would come together.
The chocolate chip purchase made me crave cookies but I wanted to make something more than that, so, I made the Tollhouse Chocolate Chip Pie that I learned from my mom. But I didn’t have crust and didn’t even know how to make crust. So Pinterest would be my savior, as usual.
A little flour, some butter, water, salt, and BOOM, I felt like Betty stinking Crocker in my own kitchen. Eventually filling the crust with the pie filling, I felt on top of the world. I had made myself happy by doing something I loved and more importantly I did it all on my own which made me even more happy.
When I woke up Thanksgiving morning, I never saw the self-fulfillment that I would feel at the end of the holiday. Of course I missed my loved ones and the special meal that I had skipped out on, but I didn’t spend Thanksgiving alone; I spent it with myself. While I won’t spend Thanksgiving alone next year or any other year of my life, this one year, it was more than necessary to show myself that I wasn’t alone even when its just me, myself, and I.
Photo by Jonathan Pendleton