If anyone has reason to feel sad about being single on Valentine’s Day, it’s me. I haven’t celebrated the holiday with a boyfriend since 2009, though if we are being honest, perhaps more accurately 2008. But I’m not sad. I’m not upset. Not even a tiny bit depressed, though I can totally understand how some single women may feel this way.
February 14 has definitely grown into a holiday that feels exclusive of all those who are not couples. Though it has good intentions – to celebrate love – I can understand why those who aren’t in love with someone else or in a relationship feels left out or is made to feel less than. Businesses and their marketing endeavors have steered the holiday in one direction — toward couples — so that you are constantly being bombarded weeks before the holiday with cute kissing couples – I get it. I get it.
Over the last few years, we’ve seen some pushback to this feeling with things like Galentine’s Day on February 13, a girls Valentine’s affair or date with friends, or Singles Awareness Day on February 15, which is obviously clear by the title.
But the thing is if we actually dig down deep into the message of Valentine’s Day, I think we would see that it is simply a day to remember to love more, and there’s nothing exclusive about that.
It’s a day for love — not a day whose ultimate goal is to be in a relationship, despite what commercialism has told you (because despite what society has told your there’s really nothing “more special” about being in a relationship than being single). And if we stop looking at the holiday as a relationship-status-slash-personal-and -social-status-determiner, we can really focus on the the basic message of love.
Today, I’m going to treat myself to lunch, and a solo date to the bookstore, something I have been dying to do for weeks. I cooked breakfast and plan to cook an amazing dinner and have a couple of glasses of wine and I promise not to work too hard or too much. That’s how I am going to remind myself that I love me, and I love my life this Valentine’s Day.
Would it be nice to have someone bring me flowers and a gift? Someone to cuddle with after a Valentine’s Day meal? Sure. Of course, that’d nice, but I’m grown enough to know that those things aren’t what makes you feel loved or happy. I’m happy without all of those things. I feel loved without a boyfriend. My life isn’t any less amazing because I’m a single woman. (And surprise, I can buy all of those things myself — minus the cuddle part.)
This Valentine’s Day and every day, I remind myself to appreciate that I do have love in my life and not everyone can say that — whether they are single or not. And one day, when I do have someone to spend Valentine’s Day with – it will just be an experience of adding more love into my life filled with plenty of love already.
So Single Sisters, if you’re feeling a little blue, make a list of all the things in your life that you love. Then make a list of all the people in your life who love you and all the ones that you love. Remind yourself that there is love in your life and you never needed a partner or a holiday to tell you that.
But since there is a holiday, might as well put it to good use by treating yourself to something relaxing, fun, spontaneous, or pleasurable today because it never hurts to remind yourself that there’s love in your life.