I love talking with people. As a writer, I’m fascinated by the things that come out of people’s mouths, particularly, those ridiculous moments where we as a human race just don’t think about what we’re saying.
I like to call these moments “Thanks-for-pointing-that-out moments.” These sentences are statements that didn’t need to be pointed out, didn’t need to be said for a variety of reasons, mostly because they are rude, racist, misogynistic, or just plain ridiculous. I’ve experienced many of these moments and though they can be annoying and frustrating, I’m learning that the human race is not perfect. But though we are not perfect, we can be better.
So check out 30 Thanks-for-pointing-that-out moments that I’ve experienced. I hope that others can relate, learn from other people’s mistakes, or get some really sassy comebacks for the next time you suffer from statements such as these!
1. “Wait, you’re Mexican but you can’t speak Spanish?” Wait, you’re Scottish/Polish/Russian/German/French, but you can’t speak Scottish/Polish/Russian/German/French?!
2. “You’re pretty, smart, responsible, ambitious, athletic, and fun. I don’t understand why you’re single.” Now, you have me wondering… Thanks, asshole.
3. When a guy hasn’t called you back and your friend asks in front of a large group, “Did that guy every text you?” No, thanks for pointing that out… in front of everyone.
4. “You want to be a writer? You’ll never make a lot of money.” I’ll show you!
5. “I don’t want to freak you out, but it kind of looks like your overbite is coming back.” The pain of braces for two years for nothing…
6. “You said five states but you only listed four states” in your first published article. #shootmenow #fail
7. “Well, not saggy like your boobs.” Tell me what you really think. And that’s just how big boobs look!
8. “You’re not adopted? But your mom is white.” It’s a crazy thing called genetics.
9. “You always have food on your face.” Some people think that’s cute.
10. “I like your short hair but I really like girls with long hair.” Tell me exactly what you think, why don’t you?
11. “You’re a pretty good basketball player for a girl.” You’re pretty misogynistic, for a guy.
12. “You’re knees go out when you shoot free throws so you kind of look like a frog.” It’s all the rage these days.
13. “You’re pretty mature for your age.” It doesn’t sound like you have high expectations for people that have graduated from graduate school, moved to another state, has a full-time job, and pays their bills on time.
14. “You just spit everywhere.” Making it rain.
15. “You just drooled.” Making it downpour.
16. “When you dress up it’s like ‘Wow,’ but when you don’t, you look really bad.” Thanks for that insulting compliment. Now take it and shove it up — down your throat.
17. “What’s wrong with your hair? Why does it look like that?” It’s greasy because I haven’t washed it. Now everyone is caught up.
18. “You’re so brave moving to a new city with no boyfriend, no kids, no pets, & you didn’t know anyone out there, huh? ” Thanks for pointing out that I am alone. Jealous, are we?
19. “You’re not wearing any makeup, right?” Actually, I just spent a whole five minutes on my makeup, thank you.
20. “I found a lot of grammar mistakes in your story. You need to study a grammar manual.” Here’s my blog–a brand new playground for you, Grammar Nazi.
21. “Your arms are really hairy, like gorilla hair.” Now you’re just being rude.
22. “I always thought you’d be a writer.” Thanks for pointing that out now, after I wasted 3 years getting a degree in history…
23. “Your forehead is really big.” Your mouth is really big and it won’t shut up.
24. You just tripped in front of everyone.” Thanks for narrating my movements for everyone.
25. “Are you an exotic dancer? You could be. Do you want to be?” Does that come with a 401K?
26. “You just don’t look like you’d be good at any sports.” What does “looking good at sports” look like?
27. “I just thought you’d be from somewhere exotic.” Sorry, Texas isn’t exotic enough for you.
28. “You kind of sound like Sandy from SpongeBob.” Yee-haw.
29. “I’m only interested in girls with good credit because mine sucks. ” Oh, thanks for pointing that out, so I can run…far away.
30. “This bar is 21 and up,” she says while she is holding my drivers license that says I’m over 21.