To the Women Who’ve Been Called Crazy — You’re Not

I hate when men call women crazy.

Here’s a little tip: Don’t lie to us and we won’t look crazy trying to uncover the truth. Don’t cheat on us and we won’t call you out for being an asshole. Don’t make us believe we can trust you, and we won’t look “crazy” when we confront you. Don’t convince us that you’re not just “looking to get some ass” and then walk out right after we finally give in and sleep with you.

We’ve all heard it, the infamous line, “I didn’t want to tell you because I knew it would hurt you.”

…Really?

I beg to differ that you believed lying to me would keep me from hurting. I’m hurting 10 times more now that I was lied to! But I’m crazy? No. As women, we are aware of how we make others feel. We try to avoid hurting others’ feelings because we have had our own feelings hurt and we know how it feels. But we get called crazy for being honest, sensitive, and faithful.

It blows my mind when I meet a man and he can’t understand why I have trust issues. How do I kindly explain it is because I’ve been fucked over one too many times? It’s ironic too, because the guy who ended up screwing me over is usually the one who held me in his arms and promised to never hurt me, only to play games and call me crazy because I found out about his lies and confronted him. You’re right; catching you being deceitful makes me the crazy one. You knew what you were doing the entire time.

Girls, stop thinking it is your fault for him leaving. Stop questioning what you did wrong. I can promise you, you did nothing wrong. Decent human beings don’t go around knowingly hurting other people. If he chooses to leave you, let him. He wasn’t worth it anyways.

I know you’re heartbroken, trust me, I’ve been there many times. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to feel like your world is over. It’s okay to take Advil PM to fall asleep at night because your mind won’t stop and you miss him like crazy. You may miss him, but I guarantee you miss the person you thought he was and the good times. When you’re sad, you forget the bad things – the lies, the dishonesty, the times when things just didn’t quite add up. You can’t help but focus on the good and that is okay. But you have to remember your worth.

At some point he probably called you crazy. It made you mad and hurt your feelings. But think about it, he got caught. He had to call you crazy, because what else can he do? He has to turn it around on you and he knows calling you crazy will hurt. He knows it will make you start to wonder if you really are crazy, if you should have ever said anything. One of the worst things a woman can be called is crazy, so why wouldn’t he call you crazy? He has to take the spotlight off of himself for a second. And for a while, you probably will start to believe that you are crazy, but you aren’t. You’re human. And you deserve truth and honesty.

You are smart. Incredibly smart. He thought he could pull the wool over your eyes. He thought you wouldn’t find out. He tried to convince you that this was your fault. So, think about it. Who is the crazy one here? You, who caught someone you trusted being deceitful? Or him, who lied, pretended, and made you believe he could be trusted only to stab you in the back once you let your guard down?

I wish I could say this type of guy is far and few between and you probably won’t encounter him in your dating life. I wish this type of guy were only seen in the movies. But the older I get, the more I realize that these guys are everywhere. So when he tells you, “I’m not like other guys,” don’t be so quick to believe him. Make him show you. And if he doesn’t, remind yourself that you don’t have time for little boys and proudly walk away like the bad ass you are.

For the women who've been called crazy, one woman wants you to know, you are not. She also explains why you deserve more in a partner.

Linden is a school psychologist, with a passion for helping others, and an overwhelming desire to go back to her pre-adult days. Linden loves traveling, spending time with her family, and taking naps. After quitting soccer in college, she has struggled to find her identity in life and uses writing as a way to express herself.

Linden Shinpaugh

Linden is a school psychologist, with a passion for helping others, and an overwhelming desire to go back to her pre-adult days. Linden loves traveling, spending time with her family, and taking naps. After quitting soccer in college, she has struggled to find her identity in life and uses writing as a way to express herself.

2 thoughts on “To the Women Who’ve Been Called Crazy — You’re Not

  • August 25, 2016 at 1:58 pm
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    Thank you so much for reading! I’m glad you enjoyed! 🙂

    Reply
  • August 25, 2016 at 9:53 am
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    I don’t have anything brilliant to share, but I do just want to say, “Thank you.” Thank you so much for this.

    Reply

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