I just cut my hair into a pixie cut for the second time in my life and I’m loving it.
I first rocked the pixie cut in 2012, going from hair-down-the-middle-of-my-back to hair that barely reached my ears. Talk about a drastic change! It was a slightly scary moment, allowing my stylist to cut off the inches of hair that inevitably held memories from my entire life, as I’d never had short hair until then.
However, the scariest moment was afterwards. How were people going to react? (Because I hadn’t told anyone of my plan) Would I feel attractive? Would guys find me attractive? Would I like my new haircut in two days?
The answers were surprising and over the past four years, I have learned a lot about myself and beauty since cutting my hair. Let me break it down for you.
- Cutting one’s hair is freeing.
I never felt more free than the moment the stylist chopped off over 12 inches of hair from my head. It was like a weight that I didn’t even realize that I was caring around had been lifted from my shoulders (quite literally). There was something baptismal about the entire process.
Though it was just a haircut, I realized within the process of getting my hair cut, that we place a lot of importance on women and their hair. With the cutting of my hair, I was symbolically coming into a new chapter in my life – where hair has less importance to my body, mind, and heart than it ever really should have. (Seriously, it’s just hair)
- I gained more confidence with short hair.
After cutting off my hair and posting my new hairstyle on social media, I began to receive so much positive feedback from my new look. Better yet, I would get nice comments in public from strangers.
The feedback, combined with the edginess of the cut that accurately reflected my personality (it was the first time a hair cut had done so), changed me. A new confidence in myself and my identity was born, and until then, I hadn’t even realized that I was missing that.
- It doesn’t take much to look stylish.
The nice thing about having short hair is that I don’t necessarily have to style it. It’s already styled thanks to the cut. Granted, I can curl it, spike it up, or make it stylishly messy for diverse looks, but I don’t actually have to. Morning, day, or night, my look is always on point.
- I have so much extra time.
Take a moment and guess-timate how much time it takes you to fix your hair in the morning before you go to work or before you hit the club or bar with your friends.
Before I got a pixie cut, it used to take me close to an hour to do my hair if I was going to wear it down. It took about twenty minutes to make an up-do look good. Now, it takes me five to 10 minutes at most to do my hair.
So what do I do with all that extra time? Hang out with friends, take a nap, read, work out, write blogs…
- I “lost” five pounds.
The weirdest, yet best, part about cutting my hair into a pixie cut, is that I seemed to lose a few pounds around my face and neck. As soon as I stood up from my hair stylist’s chair, she immediately said, “Oh, my! Your neck looks so much longer!” And it did.
My face – which is somewhat round – suddenly got angles that complimented well with my collar bones and my neck looked longer and slimmer. Without the distraction of my hair, my body looked slimmer in the mirror. (And if it actually doesn’t, who cares? It looks that way to me and isn’t that what matters?)
- Guys still find me attractive (and girls as well)
There was a very tiny fear when I first got my hair cut that guys would no longer find me attractive because they would associate my short hair with how a man looks. That was quite naïve, and thankfully, absolutely wrong.
Since having short hair, I have had the same amount of positive male attention as I had with long hair. For the most part guys don’t care, and if they do care, they care for about a few seconds and then I can see that it goes out the window when they speak to me.
I also found an upswing in girls hitting on me too. I’m not attracted to girls, but it’s kind of a confidence booster to have both girls and guys check you out.
Now on the other hand, I have at times, been on the receiving end of negative experiences with men that are directly related to my hair. Sometimes, they like to fetishize my hair with the idea that they are dating Halle Berry or Rihanna.
I once had a guy say, “Can I be Chris Brown to your Rihanna?” This was after the whole domestic violence situation, so of course my reply, was “Hell, the-F no!”
In addition to that, I often get men who ask me why I cut my hair or make comments that they prefer long hair or they liked me with longer hair (if they looked at my pictures on social media). This really can be annoying.
My only response to them is, “Really? Does it look like I care?”
- There’s no such thing as “the perfect face” for a short cut.
Since having a pixie cut, I’ve realized that women have created a myth surrounding short haircuts.
“I totally don’t have the face for a pixie cut,” is code for, “I’m too scared to cut my hair.”
Look at all the celebrities who have short, pixie cuts. These women range in all sizes, skin tones, and facial shapes and suffice to say, they look fabulous.
It’s okay to be scared to cut your hair off, but it’s not okay to make an excuse for it that has no basis in reality. (Because who ever said, “I totally don’t have the face for bangs/long hair/layers?”
- Beauty is not defined by hair.
The most important thing that I learned when I chopped off all of my hair is that beauty is not defined by hair style, cut, or length. As women, we tend to hold onto our hair style and idolize it as something important to our identity. In part, it is connected to our identity — as a reflection of our personality — however, even that part is extremely miniscule.
Think of it like this: we are placing importance on dead skin. (Yeah, sort of gross)
I will admit that my hair style has helped me gain confidence, but it is not the determining factor in how I see myself or the beauty that I possess. I’ve always felt beautiful and confident in many ways, and I’d feel the same with or without hair.
My hair style is just an accessory that adds to the beauty that I’ve always possessed.