We’ve all been there, like it or not, we’ve all been that girl. You work for what seems like forever to get that promotion, but she got it effortlessly. Your 32 years old and you’ve been a bridesmaid at all of your younger friends’ weddings but still have yet to be the bride. It’s the feeling you get when you see others with something you want but don’t have; it’s the feeling that makes us want to trip the chick we see wearing those heels we’ve wanted for months. That feeling is envy and we’ve all felt the grasp of that green-eyed monster.
Did you know that Envy and Jealousy are cousins? According to The Intentional Workplace, they are both Comparison emotions, or emotions in which we measure ourselves with what others have or what they do.
Envy is like most emotions, when left unchecked it can hurt us and those who become the focus of our envy, especially if that person is someone who is close to us. If you’ve ever felt this way then you know the confusion that comes when we truly want to be happy for a best friend’s accomplishments only to think,“That should be me!” We hurt those we love when we allow our personal issues to cloud over our support for them.
No one likes to be envious, it’s one of those feelings that we do not like to admit, but there’s a reason for that feeling. It’s our minds way of telling us that it’s time to do some self-examination. So, what do you do if you find yourself suddenly seeing green (and it’s not money)?
- Don’t ignore it. Envy usually doesn’t just go away — it usually grows into its meaner older brother, resentment
- Be honest with yourself, why does it bother me that my sister’s going on vacation and I’m staying home going to work every day?
- Be grateful, by counting all of the things you do and have.
- This one is very important and one you’ve undoubtedly heard before: STOP COMPARING!
There’s a reason why envy is called a comparison emotion. Measuring ourselves up with someone else will almost always end badly. We are bound to find something we think we are missing that the other women has.
Love yourself for who you truly are, know yourself, and focus on being the best you that you can be and you’ll always defeat that little green monster called, Envy.
Feature photo by Jaap Joris via Flickr (green color tone added)